On Endings

Every January, we come together culturally and sing a song of new years and New Yous. We diet and exercise and idealize and hope. On the 1st of January we chant our mantras of new beginnings, while the night before we gorged ourselves and said goodbye to old years and Old Yous.

In January when we’re positive we think of beginnings, and when we’re negative we think of endings. Its all about mindset they say, Uproot, alter and revise! Let’s change your story. And in small pockets we are practicing radical sameness. Everything is fine as is. This moment is enough. You are enough. This life is enough. Its all about gratitude. But the pressure goes both ways. Love what you have or change everything. And all I think about is endings. When our culture is moving in either direction, swiftly and with no sense of slowing down I think of endings.

Today, I drew a line in the sand and told myself to let go. Let go of what was, and what wasn’t and what will not be: the New Yous never realized, the dreams that never met our waking lives, and the promises never kept.

Their naïvety and joy. Their fearlessness. New Yous begin where Old Yous end. The Old Yous end and we mourn them.