Gone Fishing.

I can’t remember when my life became so much about other people. What they’re doing, how they’re feeling and most importantly what they’re thinking. Naturally, it is. I work in a field that is all about other people — what they think, how they feel, what they’re doing — in relation to the clothing they wear and want to wear. That aside, in the last 90 days my life has been consumed by other people’s needs, other people’s expectations and other people’s insecurities, and today I give up a burden that has never belong to me.

Out of office

You know what’s boring? The assumption that high performers never experience self-doubt or make poor choices. That’s boring and shallow and frankly out of touch. Deep down I actually believe its self-centered to think you’re the only one struggling in varying aspects of life. I think it’s gross that we have to remind people to check on our strong friends. Why weren’t we doing this before? Why are waiting for trauma, bad news and difficult times to ask people how they’re doing mentally, physically and emotionally?? Please explain the math to me.

In the woods

In a short period of time, I have seen my life become one that doesn’t belong to me. Carefully molded by what my friends, family and job need. Am I a sounding board? Suddenly, I’m always picking up the phone. Am I a shoulder to cry on? Suddenly, my own tears dry up. Am I a fountain to be drained? Yes, and I’m out of order, out of water, out of sorts.

So who catches me when I fall?

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. I’ve also realised no one can be there for you if you don’t let them. So can I blame my friends, my family and my job for not listening, not supporting and not empathising with the poor choices I’ve made? How can one expect so much and yet give so little? I guess it goes both ways.