On Self-Preservation

I need people to stop thinking I’m indestructible.

I need them to realize that I bleed like everyone else, I cry like everyone else I feel like everyone else. I am not the Messiah, I am not the leader, I am not the blueprint, or the source of all things.

These two breasts cannot breast-feed everyone. I am not a fountain to be drained. I cannot take care of everyone, I cannot take care of anyone if I’m not taking care of myself.

I need my boundaries. They help me breathe, they protect my breathing, and my space, and my energy, and my faith, and my power.

I need my power protected. I need to be my protector.

I need me. I took a marriage vow at birth To myself, to choose me first, to love me first, to soothe myself when my heart is heavy, to lighten the load when my burden is heavier. My sister hooks said “love is the extension of oneself.” I extend and wrap myself around me when your call drops, when they’re preoccupied, when your his is gone.

I need me.

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