I took a class in abstract painting a semester ago and my professor didn’t really like my work. He told me my brushwork was too uptight and far too controlled. I didn’t like him too much, but there was one thing he was very adamant about: I must keep painting.
I had quite the busy schedule too– six courses and two jobs, as well as a writing club, a blog, and a social life to uphold. But deep down inside I always feared that I’d lose my studio practice and that the chaos of everyday life would sweep me up, up and away from everything I considered important. So I did this thing that gave me absolutely no choice whatsoever– I set up a permanent painting studio in my apartment. I laid out raw canvas, acrylics, gels, varnishes, modelling paste, palettes and a ton of water containers. Since then I’ve been producing new pieces more frequently than ever. I’d do the dishes and get my hands dirty again. It is this experience that has taught me a thing or two about environment and its influence on your actions. Out of sight, out of mind is a really important idiom here; just think about all the so-called important things you’ve tucked away and one day rediscovered and how your face lit up with excitement. You must lay the things and hobbies you love out in front of you and indulge in them deeply– they are your words.
Painting to me is my implicit intricacy; My studio practice is very important to me and although I’ve focused heavily on my writing in this blog I wanted you all to know that this part of me is incredibly personal and passionate. Analyzing my work from afar without theme or subject in mind I see something new and larger than what I set out to do. This work for example is so strangely erotic and lonely but at the same time outgoing and trendy. It’s the “it-girl” of my portfolio. I am so very proud of it.
I got a 68 in that abstract painting course by the way– but I think of all the artists who were rejected and put down by their superiors. I think of how different my work is and isn’t- but above all I think of how ambitious and happy I am that I kept painting, and for that, I get an A for effort.