This week tried to kill me.
This week tried to diminish my flame and send me home packing my bags, and back to my mother’s house.
This week had the Gods throwing pellets to see if when they hit I’d crumble under the impact.
Six days ago I realized I couldn’t pay all my tuition at once. I hadn’t expected to work full-time and go to school full-time at the same time. I hadn’t budgeted for a full course load. So with the fear that I’d be kicked out of school I had to run to my Finance office and arrange a payment plan. The attendant was rude; and acted as if I were some sort of criminal making him a false promise. I had to keep repeating the phrase “I’m going to pay the balance.” That same day, I met an internationally renowned artist who speaks like king and is more knowledgable and articulate than I ever imagined. And I really imagined.
Five days ago I had my first-step interview, because you see I’m up for promotion at work. This means I need to make the best of impressions within the next few days/weeks. So no lates, no absences, no calls in sick. The first interview went well.
Five days ago, my mentorship dropped new dates for our schedule to work with The Artist. Of course, I want to get as much time with him, even though when he’s in the room I panic and hide in his shadow. This schedule conflicted with my work schedule.
Four days ago, I realized I was fighting with my friend– a dear friend — which made it even more difficult to focus on switching shifts at work to make sure I can go to all the events with The Artist.
Three days ago, my wisdom teeth erupted. The pain seized my jaw and parts of my neck. That same day I participated in the Artist’s talk at the preview of his new exhibition, attended a show opening, then went for dinner at the House of the President of my University. I ate mainly soft cheeses because my face hurt. Simultaneously, I missed two classes with two professors who refused to understand the requirements of this mentorship/residency. So I have two classes of work to catch up on.
Yesterday I went to the dentist, for an appointment I had to book in emergency because the pain worsened, an appointment I had to miss an event with The Artist to attend. I figured the faster I got these teeth dealt with the quicker I could go about my day. When I arrived I found out that these were like no other wisdom teeth and that I needed to have full on surgery. So with my face in incredible pain, I got my prescription for a painkiller and headed to work. Yes, work, because I cannot miss a shift. I was even planning to go there after my teeth were removed. For the surgery I found out the only insurance I have won’t cover it, so I’ll have to pay $1,357 out of pocket: more than my outstanding balance of my tuition.
Today, I say fuck you. I had a wicked, amazing-horrible, week and now I know how to fix everything. I’ve noticed when the bad news comes it comes in a sequence, like stones be pelted at me. And through tears of pain and frustration, I pick myself up and say “This is War” (literally). So, while the things get hard try your best to wait out the storm. The rain will pass and when it does you’ll know what to do and not do when it arrives again. Fix what you can.
You gave it your best shot, deary.