On the eve of Valentine’s Day I have to ask…
Why are we all so afraid of love?
Where did this belief that love and strength cannot coexist come from?
When did love mean weakness?
What is this strange robotic fixation on the abolishment of feelings? Love never meant weakness. If anything it takes a lot of strength to lay your cards out for everyone to see — it takes a lot of you to strip yourself naked and tell the truth. So why has love become so taboo? I’m completely on board when it comes to independence and self-suffiency, but who ever said love added conflict to that equation? I think what concerns me is our inability to merge strength with love. We fail to see the possibility of overlap when it comes to love and strength– it seems to be stronger to deny our feelings all together than to admit them.
My brother is head over heels in love with his girl he hurt once before. His first mistake came from his fear of weakness: this bullshit belief that if you admit you love someone or something you’ve given them your power. I guess I can understand where that fear comes from since giving someone your heart brings about a new level of vulnerability– not to mention feelings have this tendency to make the water of clarity quite merky. But perhaps we’re buying into the idea that feelings can’t comprehend rationale, and that in their unpredictability they become weak.
What’s really interesting though is how we label those who wear their hearts on their sleeves as weak. I think it takes a lot of guts to trust so many people with your heart. I also think it’s remarkable that people can pick themselves up after a heart break and try again. To me, that isn’t weakness– nor is it insanity– it’s a mixture of optimism, persistence and strength. Being able to trust people again after so many have hurt you is quite honorable.
Giving your heart doesn’t make you weak. Using the word “love” in a sentence doesn’t mean you’re “clingy” or “crazy.” Being in love isn’t taboo and just because you aren’t doesn’t mean everyone around is inferior for “succumbing to their feelings.”
Love isn’t the be-all-end-all of your existence, but it also isn’t something for you to make passive aggressive remarks about either. I’m sorry buddy, but while you’re making immature comments about how much of a “pussy” Gerard Butler is for falling in love with Jennifer Aniston again, everyone around you will be reminded that even you have feelings–