Nap

I can’t sleep or I’ll get drunk, 

On the lucid liquid I sip in my dreams. 

If I fall too deep I won’t wake up

Because I’ll dream of you, alive and well, 

My hair is long and my hands are full

With dandelions from the garden we planted. 

If I sleep I’ll remember everything I’ve worked so hard to forget:

Your skin turning grey, the hospital bed,

Our empty house.

I’ve seen the sun rise and set

I’ve fought sleep so many times. 

I’ve taught myself not to dream

But when I do, I think of you. 

I can’t sleep, or I’ll fall too deep 

Into a coma 

So perfect and pure, where you are,

And I’ll teach myself not to wake up.